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Talk:The Shadows Coil
Post comments on the story here. We may be on the second chapter, but its looking good so far! --Chicken Bond 21:50, September 21, 2010 (UTC) How do you plan to enter the new characters? @Creator: You'll see. [[User:Varkanax39|'LET']] [[User talk:Varkanax39|'THE']] [[The Eternal Game|'GAMES']] [[TSCC|'CONTINUE!!!!!']] 23:48, September 21, 2010 (UTC) Opinion from The Human Obelia Well, perhaps if I had read the other stories in the GIgas Magna Storyline, this would have made a little more sence. However, your talent of a writer nullifies the necessity to read the previous stories. There is a good amount of charcaterization, and I think Fairion's flashbacks are a nice touch. The only flaws are that there are just too many characters to keep track of. Also, one or two sentences appeared to be missing words. Other than that, it is a fine story, and I eagerly await the next chapter. Keep up the good work! Liopleurodon 01:09, July 27, 2011 (UTC) :Thanks. And I'm not in charge of the Gigas Magna Storyline, TSC is part of the Xaterex Multiverse Storyline... Varkanax ' 13:15, July 27, 2011 (UTC) Should a header image for TSC be designed? --[[User talk:Chicken Bond|'Welcome]] [[DR|'to']] [[BW|'the']] [[EU|'Fezpedia!']] 22:20, August 15, 2011 (UTC) :Slice said a while ago he's working on that...I'll ask him if he still plans to. 'Varkanax ' 22:24, August 15, 2011 (UTC) Toa Roden's Official Review To be honest, I'm not very good at writing reviews. I'd much rather read a good story, or even attempt to write one. But The Shadows Coil is without doubt one of the best stories on Custom BIONICLE Wiki, and so I will try to scrape together a semi-decent review, which it certainly deserves. First I'll focus on the basic plot. It starts out rather simple and straight-forward, then plunges into a maze of twists, turns, dead-ends, and much fighting. (Something I should mention: Shardak is wounded so many times that it becomes monotonous. Perhaps Varkanax should be more reserved when handing out injuries? Could Shardak really take that much damage?) Finally, after the end of the maze seems to be reached at last, Varkanax39 sends the story into yet another sharp turn, one with potentially horrible consequences for the protagonists. We visit the Eternal Game once again, although the end comes much faster this time, and in a matter of days, the final battle has begun. Several of the minor protagonists are eliminated, but all's well that ends well, and the story ends on a rather optimistic note. An interesting plot; it brings to mind the many twists and turns of the canon BIONICLE storyline, albeit on a smaller, and perhaps not as organized, scale. Next I'll focus on the characters, always one of the more popular aspects of a story. Fairon, who has already acquired a grim and determined air, maintains it well, particularly towards the end of the book. He appears to have become more mature, experienced, and more combat-capable. There is one thing, however, that I find annoying: Fairon never uses his mask. Is he incapable of doing so? Has he forgotten that it exists? This same annoyance is present in the majority of the characters. When wounded in the Eternal Game, couldn't Galika have utilized her Mask of Quick-Healing? Surely Jareroden, Treedaka, and Sayna could have found their respective Kanohi useful in the many battles in the Void? And so on. But aside from this, Fairon is becoming a very interesting character: the competent veteran who fights (and fights well) for good, but has inner struggles that lend depth and reality to his personality. It's the sort of character that people like, which brings me to Valkryia. Not long ago, Varkanax39 conducted a poll, and Valkryia was found to be his most popular main protagonist. But why? Because she's a character with depth, background, and personality? Because she could, in theory, slay a large percentage of the story's characters without even suffering serious injuries? Because she's a female Ix, forced to turn away from the dark side, from her training, from her own kind? Because she can send three arrows into an enemy's throat in the time it takes to read this sentence? (By the way, that's another annoyance: the bow is not a rapid-fire weapon, even in the hands of an expert. I'm sure Valkryia is very good with it, but still...) Perhaps you get the idea: Valkryia is cool. Awesome. Epicbess. And the camouflage armor? Two thumbs up! But there's still room for improvement. One thing I've noticed: Valkryia is betrayed by her kind. Circumstances force her to join the good guys. But as we've seen in the past, Valkryia isn't completely evil, so the change isn't as traumatic as you might think. But still, Valkryia seems to be taking it very well. Sure, she's an expert at concealing her emotions, but shouldn't she have a bit of regret, or sadness, or something? I mean, her whole life has just turned upside down! But I am babbling, and perhaps Varkanax39 will remedy this minor problem in The Darkest Light. I shall continue on. Shardak. He's not too bad of a character, but he's not quite on the level of Valkryia. I can't quite determine the exact flaw, but his personality seems to be lacking some essential quality. But again, he's not too bad, and he might turn out pretty good once he gets some training and a bit of confidence. As it is, he seems to be sort of like Toa Ignika; young, inexperienced, and slightly naive. The minor characters are also pretty good, and Varkanax39 does a magnificent job with the evil ones. The leader of the Ix (I cannot recall the exact name; I'm talking about the one that Shardak escapes from) is nothing short of excellent. The writing itself is some of the best I've seen on Custom BIONICLE Wiki. Varkanax39 is improving as he gains experience, and although some passages are rather dry, the majority are the kind that make you want to know what happens next. This is the first and foremost consideration in a story: it MUST make the reader want to know what happens next. This is absolutely necessary, and Varkanax does it well. The writing style is pure Varkanax39: dark, somber, and to-the-point. The philosophical note that made an appearance in Into the Darkness has been replaced with the throbbing drum-beat of combat, the same drum-beat that was first evident in The Eternal Game, but slightly more refined. The battle scenes are tense, fast-moving, and not overly bloody. (Too much gore can completely ruin a good battle. It sounds strange, but it's true.) The dialogue is excellent, as are the descriptive passages. And now, the overall rating. If my memory does not fail me, I gave Into the Darkness an overall rating of B+, and the NRC gave The Eternal Game an overall rating of A-. Now, The Shadows Coil is better than The Eternal Game, but it's not perfect. So, the only logical overall rating is... Overall Rating: A Thank you so much for taking the time to write such an excellent review! You sell yourself short, this is one of the best reviews I've read yet on the wiki, and is extremely well done! Once again, thank you, it's this kind of feedback, both positive and critical, that encourages me to write. 'Varkanax ' 15:53, August 27, 2011 (UTC)